WARNING: DO NOT LOOK AT THE PARADE PORTAL!

This is Key West Fire Chief Benjamin Franklin Harrison Bowers, here to warn you that the Grand Marshal and his Fantasy Fest Parade Portal are a lie.

David L. Sloan died in 1904. He was a powerful Voodoo King, but on October 26th, he and his wife were found dead in the Key West Cemetery in the Otto plot on top of an Ouija Board, clutching a mysterious doll.

The Parade Portal has no connection to the 1990s. Sloan’s ghost is trapped in the spirit world, and he needs human energy to come back to life.

If you stare at the Parade Portal, Sloan, his wife Heather-May, and an army of dead dolls will return from the grave and unleash a powerful curse on the island of Key West.

I should know. I was Key West’s Fire Chief in the 1890s, and I’m dead too.

You have been warned. Do NOT look at the Parade Portal.